some kind of wonderful

Its been awhile since ive posted and im on top of the world..... but at the same time i feel as if the heavens are crushing me.I wanna be doing the right thing but i dont know what that thing is.A friend tried explaining it to me but i left the conversation even more confused.I think i hurt my relationship with my best friend and i dont know how to fix it. I promised the unniverse and couldnt deliver i promised her the world and fell short of my goal I promised her happiness forever and all i gave her was heartache.What kind of friend am I. When i said i loved her i wasnt lying i gave her all i could give but in return i wanted more.So i looked elsewhere and found a soul a shining star a beacon that I was drawn to. I dont know how else to exsplain it.Sometimes in life things change a persons outlook on the futere one day isnt the same the next.All i want is to be happy to be with someone that from the time i met them has made me happy.No arguments no jealousy just understanding and patiance.But for my best friend if she still is after all this i wanna give thanx its all i can do youve been with me in good times and bad.when i need a shoulder to lean on you was there when i needed someone to cry with you was there when i needed a smile you was there now that im with avril i need you to be there with me holding my hand showing me how to make this work helping me along the way.Without you i am nothing.I love you ella always and forever.I need you more than ever to be strong to smile for me like only you can.Thats all i can write at the moment.Im still feeling confused and shit.anyway ella if youre reading this hugs and kisses. thats my story what do you think its some kind of wonderful .........